Submission

Submission is about surrendering all we have to God. It's not just about one thing specifically. It's about everything. Submission is when we decide that God's will is bigger than ours. When we fully give what we want to control to him.

However I think submission is more than that. It's isn't just about giving God everything. When we take things as our own we sin. Our desire is to be in control. We want to be more powerful than God and when we think we can control it we sink into idolatry. We want so much for ourselves that we aren't really worshiping God. It is idolatry to not submit everything to God.

This week in practicing this discipline. I realized how much I have been practicing idolatry. Specifically with one thing. Something that is so important to me, I had to protect it. I had to control it. It was mine and nobody was going to take that away from me. I never even realized I wasn't giving it to God. I thought I was giving it to him but the truth was I couldn't even talk about it. I couldn't pray about it. I was practicing idolatry.

The funny thing about not submitting to God is you everything is submitted to God. We only think that it is ours. That we can keep it for our own. There is nothing in this universe that can be ours, it is all God's. So I wonder if God laughs at us when we try to make things our own. When we try to steal it away from him.

God showed me that it isn't mine. He took it from me. Then I realized I was trying to keep it from him. I no longer had control. I never had control. He showed me what was his and what was mine. Then my struggle was different. With the full realization that it was God's, I had to deal with that. Obviously I had not been giving it to him and when it was taken away I was crushed.

Only God could pick me up.

I had to do things this week that stretched me to trust God even more than ever. To put my actions in God's hands. I didn't know how to act or what decisions to make. God walked me through it and I don't know why. I had been so selfish but finally trusting God with it gave me confidence. Confidence from him and in him. I couldn't do it without him and he showed me that.

This discipline was difficult. It was very stressful. I may have made it harder than it was. It's tough to give everything to God. We want it for ourselves. We have to have it. It might go bad if we don't do something about it. Not if we really trust God.

Simplicity isn't so simple

Simplicity is about a freedom from anxiety. To cast all your worries on God and trust in him. This is of the most importance. I couldn't walk through life if I didn't have anything to trust in. If there's not a concrete slab to cling to the house falls down. We have to trust that God can be our rock and know that he cares and sustains us.

I'm probably one of the more analytic persons you've ever met. It is really hard to do this discipline. I can trust God with somethings but others I struggle really hard to. Currently life has been more difficult and I know the only way to get through it is trusting God. But obviously that has been really difficult. So I have been trying to do this discipline but I know I have been failing at it. This isn't just a discipline, this is a life learning ideal concept.

Simplicity is such a broad topic. Do we trust God with money? Do we trust him with decisions? What about time or our reputation? All these things take time to develop. Just turning off the wondering switch is almost nearly impossible sometimes. We want something so bad but we can't give it to God. He might take it away. Which one do we love most?

Study

It's important to read our Bibles. God's word brings us life and fills us. Usually it is difficult to find time to do it. However we definitely have time to read it. Sometimes we think we don't have time time to read. We are pretty rebellious followers. 

The truth is we don't want to read sometimes. We don't have the desire to because we don't want to hear what God has to say. We think we have it all together or we know its going the wrong way and don't want to admit it. I struggled with this while doing the discipline of study. 

Reading 1st Corinthians 13 over and over again really cut me to the core. Finding out what real love is revealed my sin. It showed how I have been selfish, prideful and arrogant. It revealed things about myself I am afraid to admit but had to admit them anyway. I have to tell God about it even though he already knows what I'm thinking. 

Admitting to God that he is right is what he calls us to do. It's not something we can do without him changing our heart first and being inclined to his will for our lives. Therefore we need to surrender our desires and choices to him. Study can only truly be done when we are focused on God. However we seem to only be focused on ourselves. 

We go through our busy days and are stuck in our comfort zones, not actually focusing on God. When we study God's word we are made aware of his presence. He gives us strength to go about our day and concentrate on what is truly important. 

Studying god's word is the only way we get a direct word from God. Why would we ever want to reject that opportunity? Isn't he the one who controls the universe? Why can't we trust him? It is true that the Bible hasn't always been around and communicating with God had to be done in different ways, and all those ways are really important. However many have died and sacrificed their whole life so they could spread the physical presence of the Bible. If we take for granted this ability to read God's word, then we are basically rejecting God's gifts. We need to read God's word daily because he is our daily life line.

My Story

When I was a little kid I remember my grandma reading the bible and praying with and for me. I also remember the many pictures and figures of angels all around her house. I don’t ever remember a time when my family wasn’t convicted of God’s existence. I wouldn’t say my parents or my sister were very spiritual when I was growing up. We went to church a lot and I think we were generally “good” people. We tried to be the morally sound family. I like to think that anyways. However I remember when I was about 7 or 8 and asking my best friend if he believed in God. He said he didn’t know and I still don’t know if he does to this day. My other friend did and still does. He was my neighbor and we spent a lot of time at his house where I noticed that his mother was pretty spiritual. I knew they both went to church and everything but I never really talked to them about it. The only people I really talked to about God, was my grandma and my father.

                We stopped going to church a whole lot when our church burned down. It was only half of it but it was the sanctuary. Lightning had struck it and caused a fire. It was weird because I was at the church the day it caught fire and apparently only shortly after I had left did it burn down. I don’t know exactly what the purpose was behind this but I remember not going to church for a while after that. There wasn’t really a church to go to. We went to a few churches and found ourselves at Peace Reformed Church of Middleville. We only went once and still had a season of church absence. One day I met my friend Jon through my best friend Josh. He invited me to go to youth group with him so I started going pretty consistently.  5^th and 6^th grade youth group wasn’t very exciting and since our middle school and elementary schools were split at 5^th and 6^th grade, it was kind of weird. I remember playing games and stuff but that is about it. I wasn’t too spiritual yet and probably considered a pretty bad kid. I remember in middle school my mouth being pretty rotten even though I hardly ever talked. Middle school was a tough time for me but made a big spiritual change in my life. I remember going on a trip in middle school called Acquire the Fire and there I struggled through salvation and tried to commit to Christ. However I still felt sinful and very insecure about my salvation.

                In middle school I knew that my faith was important but it still wasn’t number one. High school changed a lot of that. I still was pretty reserved and quiet entering in high school. But I was working at cleaning my life up. I also knew how important it was to learn about the Bible. My youth pastor was fantastic and I owe a lot of my knowledge to him. He was going for his masters and knew what he was talking about. He’s probably one of the smartest guys I’ve ever met. I remember looking up to other leaders in the youth group too but he was probably the one who taught me the most. Also the most important thing in high school was trying to be nice to people and inviting them to youth group. I don’t know how evangelical that made us, however. It was became a struggle between knowledge for yourself and actually caring if the gospel was important enough to spread. As a follower I still struggled with my salvation. I wasn’t 100% sure I was saved and I remember having many talks about salvation with many of the leaders.

                One day I had to make a decision. I had to decide if I was going to look to Christ and live for him or fall away and turn to something else. I knew what was on the line but I had to decide if God was real, if I wanted him or another useless thing. As I remember this time in my life I look at it as being so easy but I know it was hard. Now it seems like it was such a simple decision but at the time it wasn’t. I know that God was with me and pushing me through the thought processes to salvation but at the time it scared the crap out of me. I had been a follower for years but was I really committed? Now I look back and think that I was but this still was a very pinnacle time for my life. At last I had chosen to follow Christ. Next the work followed.

                Choosing Christ is not just about being saved it’s about desiring what he wants and living a changed life. I struggled with this most of all. Finding my satisfaction in him was very difficult. My sinful nature always pushes for itself. Nothing really excited me about Christianity except a few things. I really liked the salvation doctrines like Calvinism and such but none of that was enough to change my desires and actually make me want to spread the gospel. I knew it was important but I did not take seriously how important it was. I struggled with this until another time of change came in my life.

                Finally I had graduated high school. I decided to go to Ferris for a degree in Pharmacy. This was a radical change in my life. There was no more youth group, no more youth leader or youth group friends. They were still around but I didn’t see them every day. I finally had to make my faith my own and learn to be a Christian in a radically different environment. This is where I met my good friend Andy who I started going to a college age ministry with. College was crazy and the His House ministry was the only thing that kept it bearable. There were so many pagans or uneducated Christians it was ridiculous. My friend Andy made this easier to understand and helped me develop my faith in this weird environment. We had accountability groups and Christians who desired Christ more than I had ever seen. It was a great place to be and really challenged my faith. There I learned a true passion for sharing the gospel. I actually had finally learned how to effectively live out my faith in real life. This was a time of true change even though it was some of the hardest times.

                When I left Ferris I came to Kuyper to develop my faith more and to learn more about the Bible so I could effectively advance in spreading the gospel. And here I am right now. We’ve rewrote a college age ministry and I’ve learned so much about doctrine and theology. I now can see what is really important and how to be effective at spreading the gospel. Now I lead a bible study every other Thursday and try to make our college age ministry effective. I have fully come to know what it means to be saved and find full assurance in my salvation. Even though sometimes my actions are not like Christ I still find satisfaction in knowing that I am his and have a developing relationship with him. The only real question I have now, as a graduating senior, is where to go from here. The next chapter in my life will definitely be another life changing experience and now I know that is something to look forward to.