Final Reflection Blog Post

1. Foster says spiritual disciplines are not designed to be ends in themselves., but are intended to facilitate a person's journey into greater freedom in living a Christ-like life. How did your practice of the disciplines this semester (either some in particular or all together) help you grow in your faith and obedience to God?

Solitude definitely helped me grow a lot spiritually. Becoming detached from the world and focusing on God is very important in my life. Being able to separate time out for just you and God is a tough thing to do. Making time to be with the all powerful and holy God is also a scary thing but doing it is very important.

Submission probably brought me closest to God. Having faith to trust God with such a mundane thing was very difficult. However I realized how it was necessary and how much it gave me freedom from sin. Being obedient is all about submission because truly we cannot control anything. It is really all in God's hands. When we take away ourselves and give it all to God, then, he is truly glorified.

2. What were some of the distractions or hindrances that kept you from practicing or practicing to the fullest, the assigned disciplines this semester? What does this show you about yourself? How do you plan to address this area (or these areas) of struggle?

Praying was difficult for me because I wouldn't really think about it a whole lot. I had time to pray but I just couldn't seem to remember to do it. I think about God and talk to him a lot but I don't really fold my hands and pray a whole ton. I found it easy to pray in my car when I'm alone the most. But I still got distracted by having such a busy life. Whenever something good or bad happened I could remember to thank God or talk to God but setting a time just for prayer was very difficult. This shows that I am a pretty busy person. I need to take more time out of my day and just pray to God and read my Bible. Focusing on God just sometimes or when I feel like it, is not a good relationship. I should be reliant on him all the time and give him time everyday.

My mind is probably my biggest hindrance. When I'm at work I think about my problems a lot more and that doesn't help them go away. I'm constantly analyzing things and thinking about how to make things better. Sometimes relaxing is almost uncontrollable. Through these disciplines I have realized that I am prone to anxiety and  being overly analytic. I really need to trust God more and give up my cares to him. Solitude and prayer can definitely help with this. Along with Simplicity.

3. Identify three disciplines you think mesh together well and explain how you see them interrelating. How do you plan to practice them together?

Simplicity, submission and prayer definitely go hand in hand. Time with God leads to prayer. Simplicity brings a focus to your life and submission makes that focus under God. You can only have a good focus if you submit to God's will. Prayer is acting out simplicity and prayer also creates simplicity. All three of these work together to bring you closer to God. I plan to practice them by doing them all at once. When I pray, I will pray for guidance and focus. I have to submit to God in order to be guided correctly. Submitting to God may also require me to detract from the worldly wants and desires.

4. Identify one discipline you would urge a new believer to practice. How would  you instruct them in the discipline? Why do you think this discipline is especially well-suited to the formation of a new believer?

New believers should definitely practice study. Study is one of the most important things a Christian can do. I would do this by first picking up my bible and reading part of it. Could be a chapter or a few verses but it shouldn't be random either. You may have to research the different purposes behind different books of the bible to understand where to start but it is important. Then I would study that section over and over. Repeat this a lot so you may understand it better. If you are still not satisfied pick up a commentary and read what a good theologian thinks about it. Study is important because that's how we learn some of the most important characteristics of God. Learning God's characteristics means we can understand his will for our lives all the more. A believer cannot grow without knowing who God is.

5. Spiritual disciplines fortify believers against some of the universal struggles and weaknesses all Christians battle against. Identify and describe an area of weakness you observe in Kuyper College student population. What spiritual discipline, if corporately practiced, would target this area of weakness and why?

The biggest weakness that I see at Kuyper would be the lack of desire for outreach. We are a community of believers and are constantly teaching ourselves. However we are called to make disciples and if there is not a desire to do this, then there is a huge problem. The only discipline I can relate this to besides service is to study. We need to know God's will more. Jesus had twelve disciples. These disciples went out two by two and spread the gospel. Studying God's word can give us the desire to do this. If we really wanted to know God and do his will because we love them. Then we would see it in his word and be convicted and then share the gospel. We study the bible a lot at Kuyper. It is a good thing but it can also be a bad thing. Too much of it means we ignore some of it. In order to realize what we need to do, we need to reflect on the word. This means to understand it and apply it. True understanding is applying it to our lives. Also we need to know humility so we can be taught what to do. Many of us can be too prideful to realize our faults and what things we need to do better. We can be too prideful to listen to Jesus.

6. What advice would you give to the next class of spiritual formation students at Kuyper College who will be practicing the disciplines?

I would suggest that they take these disciplines seriously. Learning how to further your walk with God is the most important aspect of our lives. No one is responsible for your growth and change but yourself and God. Learning from others is nice and helps but actually making your faith your own is the Christian life. Doing these disciplines will help you! Also read the Foster book a lot. He is a really smart guy and will teach you a lot. I think the quizzes should have been on Foster instead of Sittser but that is just me. Understand these disciplines well and apply them better. Figure out how to apply your theology you have learned to these disciplines and you will be very happy in the rest of your life.

Solitude

Solitude left a lot to be desired this week. I kept wanting the quiet. Wanting to be pulled away by God and just separate myself from the rest of life. It was difficult to do this. All week I've been working towards finishing my classes and other homework. There was plenty to do all week. Also with a couple things growing in my mind, just made it harder.

Solitude is really just a state of mind. Being able to breakaway from other people in order to listen to God is solitude's true purpose. Sometimes we give so much of our lives to other people, we really don't have anything to give to God. We exhaust ourselves spiritually by sharing ourselves with others. We forget what is really important and lose our true focus.

This week was all about purpose. Thinking about and putting time and energy into what is really important, is what I focused on this week. There was a lot to be anxious about outside of my studies and my work. My life has gotten really busy really fast. Some crazy somewhat miraculous things has happened. It has been weighing on my mind so much.

So, instead of worrying or dwelling on these things I focused on what God wants me to do. In my last post I talked about how things had to be given to God. That was a part of submission. Solitude was carrying through with that submission. Whenever I grew weary, I just praised and prayed to God. It was tough but it was very spiritually filling.

Solitude is about denying yourself and taking up what God wants in your life. You can find freedom in taking away your selfish nature and taking on God's will, God's desires. It's sort of a matter of perspective. If you look at the world through your own ambition you won't get far and your will, will be drained from you. God fills you spiritually when you rely on his eyes to interpret the things you see.

Practice solitude, because it is important. Without it you won't understand what is really going on. You can't fully realize the truth until you step back and consider what God knows.

Submission

Submission is about surrendering all we have to God. It's not just about one thing specifically. It's about everything. Submission is when we decide that God's will is bigger than ours. When we fully give what we want to control to him.

However I think submission is more than that. It's isn't just about giving God everything. When we take things as our own we sin. Our desire is to be in control. We want to be more powerful than God and when we think we can control it we sink into idolatry. We want so much for ourselves that we aren't really worshiping God. It is idolatry to not submit everything to God.

This week in practicing this discipline. I realized how much I have been practicing idolatry. Specifically with one thing. Something that is so important to me, I had to protect it. I had to control it. It was mine and nobody was going to take that away from me. I never even realized I wasn't giving it to God. I thought I was giving it to him but the truth was I couldn't even talk about it. I couldn't pray about it. I was practicing idolatry.

The funny thing about not submitting to God is you everything is submitted to God. We only think that it is ours. That we can keep it for our own. There is nothing in this universe that can be ours, it is all God's. So I wonder if God laughs at us when we try to make things our own. When we try to steal it away from him.

God showed me that it isn't mine. He took it from me. Then I realized I was trying to keep it from him. I no longer had control. I never had control. He showed me what was his and what was mine. Then my struggle was different. With the full realization that it was God's, I had to deal with that. Obviously I had not been giving it to him and when it was taken away I was crushed.

Only God could pick me up.

I had to do things this week that stretched me to trust God even more than ever. To put my actions in God's hands. I didn't know how to act or what decisions to make. God walked me through it and I don't know why. I had been so selfish but finally trusting God with it gave me confidence. Confidence from him and in him. I couldn't do it without him and he showed me that.

This discipline was difficult. It was very stressful. I may have made it harder than it was. It's tough to give everything to God. We want it for ourselves. We have to have it. It might go bad if we don't do something about it. Not if we really trust God.

Simplicity isn't so simple

Simplicity is about a freedom from anxiety. To cast all your worries on God and trust in him. This is of the most importance. I couldn't walk through life if I didn't have anything to trust in. If there's not a concrete slab to cling to the house falls down. We have to trust that God can be our rock and know that he cares and sustains us.

I'm probably one of the more analytic persons you've ever met. It is really hard to do this discipline. I can trust God with somethings but others I struggle really hard to. Currently life has been more difficult and I know the only way to get through it is trusting God. But obviously that has been really difficult. So I have been trying to do this discipline but I know I have been failing at it. This isn't just a discipline, this is a life learning ideal concept.

Simplicity is such a broad topic. Do we trust God with money? Do we trust him with decisions? What about time or our reputation? All these things take time to develop. Just turning off the wondering switch is almost nearly impossible sometimes. We want something so bad but we can't give it to God. He might take it away. Which one do we love most?

Study

It's important to read our Bibles. God's word brings us life and fills us. Usually it is difficult to find time to do it. However we definitely have time to read it. Sometimes we think we don't have time time to read. We are pretty rebellious followers. 

The truth is we don't want to read sometimes. We don't have the desire to because we don't want to hear what God has to say. We think we have it all together or we know its going the wrong way and don't want to admit it. I struggled with this while doing the discipline of study. 

Reading 1st Corinthians 13 over and over again really cut me to the core. Finding out what real love is revealed my sin. It showed how I have been selfish, prideful and arrogant. It revealed things about myself I am afraid to admit but had to admit them anyway. I have to tell God about it even though he already knows what I'm thinking. 

Admitting to God that he is right is what he calls us to do. It's not something we can do without him changing our heart first and being inclined to his will for our lives. Therefore we need to surrender our desires and choices to him. Study can only truly be done when we are focused on God. However we seem to only be focused on ourselves. 

We go through our busy days and are stuck in our comfort zones, not actually focusing on God. When we study God's word we are made aware of his presence. He gives us strength to go about our day and concentrate on what is truly important. 

Studying god's word is the only way we get a direct word from God. Why would we ever want to reject that opportunity? Isn't he the one who controls the universe? Why can't we trust him? It is true that the Bible hasn't always been around and communicating with God had to be done in different ways, and all those ways are really important. However many have died and sacrificed their whole life so they could spread the physical presence of the Bible. If we take for granted this ability to read God's word, then we are basically rejecting God's gifts. We need to read God's word daily because he is our daily life line.

My Story

When I was a little kid I remember my grandma reading the bible and praying with and for me. I also remember the many pictures and figures of angels all around her house. I don’t ever remember a time when my family wasn’t convicted of God’s existence. I wouldn’t say my parents or my sister were very spiritual when I was growing up. We went to church a lot and I think we were generally “good” people. We tried to be the morally sound family. I like to think that anyways. However I remember when I was about 7 or 8 and asking my best friend if he believed in God. He said he didn’t know and I still don’t know if he does to this day. My other friend did and still does. He was my neighbor and we spent a lot of time at his house where I noticed that his mother was pretty spiritual. I knew they both went to church and everything but I never really talked to them about it. The only people I really talked to about God, was my grandma and my father.

                We stopped going to church a whole lot when our church burned down. It was only half of it but it was the sanctuary. Lightning had struck it and caused a fire. It was weird because I was at the church the day it caught fire and apparently only shortly after I had left did it burn down. I don’t know exactly what the purpose was behind this but I remember not going to church for a while after that. There wasn’t really a church to go to. We went to a few churches and found ourselves at Peace Reformed Church of Middleville. We only went once and still had a season of church absence. One day I met my friend Jon through my best friend Josh. He invited me to go to youth group with him so I started going pretty consistently.  5^th and 6^th grade youth group wasn’t very exciting and since our middle school and elementary schools were split at 5^th and 6^th grade, it was kind of weird. I remember playing games and stuff but that is about it. I wasn’t too spiritual yet and probably considered a pretty bad kid. I remember in middle school my mouth being pretty rotten even though I hardly ever talked. Middle school was a tough time for me but made a big spiritual change in my life. I remember going on a trip in middle school called Acquire the Fire and there I struggled through salvation and tried to commit to Christ. However I still felt sinful and very insecure about my salvation.

                In middle school I knew that my faith was important but it still wasn’t number one. High school changed a lot of that. I still was pretty reserved and quiet entering in high school. But I was working at cleaning my life up. I also knew how important it was to learn about the Bible. My youth pastor was fantastic and I owe a lot of my knowledge to him. He was going for his masters and knew what he was talking about. He’s probably one of the smartest guys I’ve ever met. I remember looking up to other leaders in the youth group too but he was probably the one who taught me the most. Also the most important thing in high school was trying to be nice to people and inviting them to youth group. I don’t know how evangelical that made us, however. It was became a struggle between knowledge for yourself and actually caring if the gospel was important enough to spread. As a follower I still struggled with my salvation. I wasn’t 100% sure I was saved and I remember having many talks about salvation with many of the leaders.

                One day I had to make a decision. I had to decide if I was going to look to Christ and live for him or fall away and turn to something else. I knew what was on the line but I had to decide if God was real, if I wanted him or another useless thing. As I remember this time in my life I look at it as being so easy but I know it was hard. Now it seems like it was such a simple decision but at the time it wasn’t. I know that God was with me and pushing me through the thought processes to salvation but at the time it scared the crap out of me. I had been a follower for years but was I really committed? Now I look back and think that I was but this still was a very pinnacle time for my life. At last I had chosen to follow Christ. Next the work followed.

                Choosing Christ is not just about being saved it’s about desiring what he wants and living a changed life. I struggled with this most of all. Finding my satisfaction in him was very difficult. My sinful nature always pushes for itself. Nothing really excited me about Christianity except a few things. I really liked the salvation doctrines like Calvinism and such but none of that was enough to change my desires and actually make me want to spread the gospel. I knew it was important but I did not take seriously how important it was. I struggled with this until another time of change came in my life.

                Finally I had graduated high school. I decided to go to Ferris for a degree in Pharmacy. This was a radical change in my life. There was no more youth group, no more youth leader or youth group friends. They were still around but I didn’t see them every day. I finally had to make my faith my own and learn to be a Christian in a radically different environment. This is where I met my good friend Andy who I started going to a college age ministry with. College was crazy and the His House ministry was the only thing that kept it bearable. There were so many pagans or uneducated Christians it was ridiculous. My friend Andy made this easier to understand and helped me develop my faith in this weird environment. We had accountability groups and Christians who desired Christ more than I had ever seen. It was a great place to be and really challenged my faith. There I learned a true passion for sharing the gospel. I actually had finally learned how to effectively live out my faith in real life. This was a time of true change even though it was some of the hardest times.

                When I left Ferris I came to Kuyper to develop my faith more and to learn more about the Bible so I could effectively advance in spreading the gospel. And here I am right now. We’ve rewrote a college age ministry and I’ve learned so much about doctrine and theology. I now can see what is really important and how to be effective at spreading the gospel. Now I lead a bible study every other Thursday and try to make our college age ministry effective. I have fully come to know what it means to be saved and find full assurance in my salvation. Even though sometimes my actions are not like Christ I still find satisfaction in knowing that I am his and have a developing relationship with him. The only real question I have now, as a graduating senior, is where to go from here. The next chapter in my life will definitely be another life changing experience and now I know that is something to look forward to.

Fasting isn't very fast at all.

Fasting is unusual. It's different. I don't know if any of my really close friends actually do it. They never say if they do at least. But that's probably a good thing. I have fasted before but I tried not to tell anyone about it. I think that's also a good thing. It's also probably not the best thing to brag about your fasting. It' something between you and God. It's not something to be boasted about. No one wants to hear how much better you are then them! However we do want to know about what God is doing in your life. It's kind of complicated.

Anyways, fasting is interesting. What good does it actually do? Does it do any good at all? It sounds pretty selfish to me. I think Americans in general struggle with the idea of fasting. We struggle with the idea of self discipline. To tell ourselves no to something is to deny one's self and that doesn't make any sense. Why not just give yourself everything you wanted? My heart and sinful nature knows what is best right? A wise man once said the heart is deceitful above all things. A slightly less wise man said, "Whenever I’m about to do something I think, would an idiot do that? And if they would I do not do that thing." One of these men correctly understood how our hearts work. 

This week I did a little fasting. My college group decided it would be a good idea to go down and hand out sandwiches to the homeless people in Grand Rapids. I'm not bragging I'm just stating a fact. This happened. This was also really out of my comfort zone. It wasn't actually about the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, it was about sharing the gospel. The sandwiches were just a conversation starter. But anyways, I decided it would be a good idea to fast. These people were hungry so I was going to be hungry too. I was trying to put myself in their position, hoping God would make me understand and feel the same way they did. Also it reminded me of why I was there and gave me focus. I wanted a PB&J so bad by the end of it. I could sympathize with those who asked for three. These people were out on the streets and needed help. I could only partially relate to that. This experience opened my eyes greatly. 

I think fasting is good for two things. One is putting all your focus on God and taking it off of yourself. With a constant reminder of hunger, we can realize how much God gives us and how much we owe him and can't repay. This act should be worshipful of God. It's putting away your selfish desires and taking up selflessness. 

Secondly, fasting is about being disciplined. People really struggle with this. Taking away the idol of yourself and replacing it with the glorification of God is the most important thing a Christian can do. We are constantly struggling against our sinful nature. We are inherently evil and trying to change that is what Christ wants for us. He ultimately wants us to be saved from ourselves. Only God has the power to truly change us from evil and fasting is an example of how we are changed. It is an image of what Christ did in the desert. He fasted for 40 days. He has given us a good example to follow.

Thanks,

David